


Peer reviewed

by lngrid



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Omnipotence, terrifying cosmic grandpa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 23:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20218078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lngrid/pseuds/lngrid
Summary: Moira experiments on Subject Sigma but one day has to face the unforeseen consequences.





	Peer reviewed

_Do I dare_  
_ Disturb the universe?_  
_ In a minute there is time_  
_ For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse._

_For I have known them all already, known them all:_  
_ Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,_  
_ I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;_  
_ I know the voices dying with a dying fall_  
_ Beneath the music from a farther room._  
_ \- T.S. Eliot_

It was hard to say that there was steady progress. Progress, in general, was at times questionable.

Usually other test subjects were more… stable, so Moira had at least a standard towards which she could measure any changes, positive or negative.

But this time her project was everything but stable or standard in any way.

‘Specimen Sigma continues to float around in self-induced zero gravity in the secured quarantine with unpredictable bipolar outbursts’ she dictated to the tiny drone flying next to her head ‘No radiation has been picked up by the sensors so far, not even during the most violent outbursts, so it is safe to assume that no protective gear of such sort will be needed.’

The older man floated by her observation window curled up in a ball and suddenly jolted up, looking straight into her eyes. His eyes were colorless, almost lifeless, but he held her gaze and slowly uncurled.

‘How are we feeling today, Siebren?’ Moira asked in a factual tone, no pity in her words.

‘I have to go to work. They must be expecting me.’ Siebren gently said. Moira cocked an eyebrow and let out a tiny, annoyed sigh.

‘You cannot return there, Siebren. You have to remember, we went through this already’ she said coldly ‘Do you want them to treat you like they did before? Tied down like an animal? Well?’

He was looking straight at her, but his body started floating up in a clockwise motion, only his head remaining at the same place.

‘Yes… well, no… I mean…’ he mumbled, and his eyes became unfocused again, then he looked to the side ‘Soon we will reach escape velocity. Everything is prepared. I can’t wait!’

‘For your experiment?’ Moira asked with a curled up lip, her voice dripping with malice.

‘I will succeed’ he said with warm confidence, looking back at her with an honest smile, and her evil grin faded. What a flawed creation, she thought, a genius in a husk of a body.

‘Physical condition is poor but stable.’ Moira then continued, turning to the drone ‘We are slowly introducing heavily processed foods into his diet along with the IV liquids that were registered upon his check-in. However his mental state altogether is highly unstable. It is impossible to hold a conversation. Maybe…’ she looked around the room, and started patting her lips with her index and middle fingers ‘Maybe some kind of anchor would be welcome to stabilize his focus. Some item from his past… Siebren!’ she turned around, looking at the older man who already muttering something in one of the corners of his chamber. 

‘Siebren, I decided to give you something for your… _great progress_… A gift, if you will. What would you like?’  
He slowly turned towards her, completely silent, as if deep in thought.

‘My coat!’ he then said, his features brightening ‘Yes, my coat! I quite need it! And some stroopwafels, please.’ he smiled to himself, then started humming abruptly - a cue for her that this conversation was over. It was something, at least.   
So Moira got a coat tailor made for him, complete with a nice little name-tag.

For days, he did not even look at it, did probably not even realize it was there.   
One day she walked in only to see him have it on and sitting cross-legged, dangling from the ceiling of his cell. Two weeks from then they could finally hold a shorter conversation, although when Moira tried to press for details regarding his research, they were often sidetracked. Siebren complained about the food, or would go on about how nice it was to finally not be obliged to wear shoes. In the middle of a discussion about supermassive black holes, he suddenly asked her if she was a dog or a cat person. With a resigned sigh she said she preferred dogs - he seemed very pleased with this answer and replied he deducted as much.

Night after night when Moira left, her impatience towards Siebren grew - she needed a breakthrough.

Then one day, about a month later, he had made something. They were tiny black holes that sizzled up and out of existence between his fingers.

‘Hawking radiation’ he said, bursting with pride. His color has been improving as of late, Moira noted matter-of-factly ‘You see, if we want to keep them stable, we need a force field around it that keeps the mass of the black hole from decreasing.’ he stretched his hand and a small, grey, hollow shape appeared in it. He summoned another tiny black hole, this time inside of the shape and it remained as stable as a hard black marble.

Moira’s eyes grew huge with wonder. ‘What is that material?’

‘Not sure. It’s not from this galaxy’ Siebren shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the world. ‘I just came up with it. I call them Hyperspheres.’

‘Can you make more?’ she asked with hungry eyes.

***

She was a genius after all. 

From the matter Siebren created, out of thin air, countless unstable materials could be stabilized. Uranium, Azidoazide azide, you name it. Materials no chemist in their right minds would ever touch returned to a stable state when encompassed which this slightly flowing, grey matter. It was an immense breakthrough - but Moira was not content giving all of it over to the weapons department of Talon. 

There were bigger fish to fry, a more important thing to keep stable.. Siebren himself.

It took some more weeks, but with the help of some other medical personnel she could build some basic equipment that could to latch onto a person’s cerebral matter and stabilize it. During her research she noted that the material needed a continuous source of energy to handle extreme outbursts, so for now they attached a basic biothermal battery to charge itself and the stabilizer with Siebren’s own force. It was not an elegant solution with wires dangling everywhere and the design being unpolished, but she felt an insatiable hunger to try it out.

Of course, for best results, she wanted him to be awake during the operation. She regretted it halfway through, with Siebren sobbing and begging her to stop. And then at one point when half of the equipment has been neatly latched onto his sticky brain matter, he finally retreated into his own mind and started gently humming.

This, Moira found, was immensely more unsettling than the screaming.

***

One day passed, then a week… Siebren was back to his catatonic state, not truly talking.  
Moira stood in front of him for hours, staring at him, trying to will him back to his active state. Then the awful realization struck her in the gut.

_I have failed._

No, no, no, no she told herself, she was a GENIUS, A PRODIGY, she wouldn’t make mistakes like this! She screamed at herself, threw about all the papers and equipment, yelling and cursing in Irish.When she stepped out of her laboratory door she was already her collected self again.

‘Clean up that mess in there’ she barked at the two guards at the entrance and left.

For the next few days, she did not even go down to the quarantine zone, she could not bear to look at her failure.   
But a couple of days later her assistant drone was flying to her and chirping with a warning. She couldn’t believe her eyes - the security camera footage showed Siebren, floating upright and examining something. His expression seemed clear and collected.  
Moira caught herself rushing through the Talon base, and was completely out of breath by the time she made it back to the lab.

And there he was indeed - looking collected and lucid, carefully eyeing a medium sized black hole in front of him, with one hand making turning motions and the black shape following them obediently.

‘Siebren’ was all that Moira could say in disbelief.

He started, looking over at her, and - _smiled_. 

‘Doctor! You look a bit ruffled. Is everything alright?’ he asked in a conversational manner, floating close to the sliding bulletproof doors of his cell.

‘Khm, yes, a busy day’ Moira said, brushing back her hair with her fingers and quickly collected herself, stepping closer to him. ‘How are we feeling today, Siebren?’

‘I do feel _much_ better, doctor.’ Siebren assured her in a nice, courteous manner ‘Please, let me talk to you outside. If there is something wrong, surely you can call the guards.’

Moira furrowed her brows. He was not wrong, but she did not necessarily like this sudden turn of events. The man looked at him sheepishly.

‘Did I not do everything you asked so far?’ he said in a low, sad voice and the black hole retracted into nothingness in his hand. A pang of fear gushed over Moira, a deep, clawing fear of losing more ground on her research.

‘Fine’ she said quickly, maybe even too quickly; but as she opened the door to the confinement chamber she reminded herself of the small tranquilizing gun hidden in her lab coat pocket. 

‘My’ Siebren said with a slight smile, floating out of the chamber and stretching out, his neck giving a loud crack ‘Thank you. It is quite pleasant to be out.’

‘Why don’t we conduct a little interview?’ Moira offered matter-of-factly, pulling close a chair while telling herself to calm her breathing.

‘Why of course.’ he did not budge, but he was still courteous and calm. No time to lose, she thought.

‘Can you elaborate on your current state a bit more, Siebren?’

‘You have no idea, doctor… You have truly done something incredible. This stabilizer has worked wonders for me in the last few days. I have never been more… focused in my entire life.’ he said, his half-smile turning into a delighted, almost evil grin.

‘I am glad to hear that’ Moira said in her evil-silky voice, crossing her legs ‘Can we go a bit into detail about how you experience this focused state?’

‘Well, doctor, before that, I have a confession to make’ Siebren said amused. Moira squinted at him inquiringly ‘I have to confess… that I have killed you.’

Moira kept staring at him, trying to follow his train of thought.

‘Hm, you mean in a dream?’ she asked coldly.

‘No doctor’ Siebren said in a level tone, with a knowing smile that made an uneasy knot form in her gut ‘No-no, just now. And an hour ago. And half a dozen times yesterday. But you just… keep coming back. Dead, and still alive. My elusive Schroedinger’s Cat.’ he stretched out his hand, and ever so lightly touched Moira’s cheek. She looked back at him coldly. 

So he is still unstable. She quickly concluded that it was a mistake to let him out and took mental note of the possible courses of action. She took care to use exactly the same tone as she did before:

‘Siebren, I am deeply disappointed about this bluff. Tell me, is this some game to get my attention? If so, I am not amused, you have to know.’

Siebren broke out in laughter, his joy floating him up and up, and when he was done, he carefully raised one of his hands, making Moira slowly float up next to him.

‘Oh, but Doctor O’Deorain, so far it was all about your pleasures, was it not? But now_ I_ have seen you quiver and plead for my mercy, and it gave me unspeakable satisfaction, I have to admit. And finally I was the one dissecting you, hearing your screams and torturing you, and not the other way around.’ he said all this with a still, serene look, with a hint of amusement in his tone.

Moira weighed her chances. He was still all bark, no bite. If she called a code red and armed forces would storm the lab he might become unstable, more aggressive. The best course of action seemed to remain confident, even if floating in mid-air. 

‘And how would you have done that?’ she finally asked, consciously using the same tone of slight amusement as he did, and she gestured at herself ‘I am here, aren’t I? And I do not recall you doing anything to me at all. These things were only in your head, Siebren. You need help. I will help you. I _am_ helping you.’

‘The forces of the universe, in fact, the multiverse, Doctor, are far beyond humanity’s grasp. It also took me a bit of time to test out my hypothesis. I doubt you could even grasp it with your puny mind.’ he said all of this with an elevated calmness still, as if he was giving a lecture of some kind.

Something snapped in Moira at that moment, her pupils dilating and her hands clenched in fists. Nobody, especially not this miserable creation, was ever allowed to degrade her genius mind.

‘Kill me then!’ she snapped, her eyes on fire ‘Torture me, kill me, show me that you are a man true to your word and not just a mumbling idiot that you have been for years now! I am not afraid of you!’

Siebren let out a small chuckle and floated close to her. This was her cue - once he made a move, she would knock him out with the tranquilizer.

‘Doctor…no, Moira…’ he said in a low voice, bending down his head a bit ‘I will be honest with you. I did not just kill you before. There were also… _other things_.’ he whispered suggestively. Then, out of nowhere, he started absentmindedly humming that eerie melody. Moira found that she was shivering, and the knot in her gut extended up, up, up, all the way to the back of her throat now. What was he saying…? That… he and her…?!

‘Once I killed you after, just to test my hypothesis’ Siebren then said dismissively, not looking at her, something resembling shame in his eyes ‘I admit, that was not my favorite part of the experiment.’ And then he perked up a bit and looked back at her, deeply into her mismatched eyes ‘But yet here you are, dead, and still alive and well, just like the cat in the box.’

This was a good enough moment as any. He was close enough so she grabbed the gun and shoved it right into his side… or she thought it was his side because her hand was stopped by something big and immovable. But glancing down upon it she could see it was frozen in mid-motion, bound by an immense force that completely paralyzed her.

‘Oh, we did play this game before, I remember, my good Doctor’ Siebren said amused, and started trailing his thick fingers down her sharp, oh so sharp cheekbone.  
The knot in her throat was choking her now. She tried to clear her head, to think of a solution, because _there always is a solution_. But adrenaline rushed through her spine and exploded in her head, and his touch just made it worse, because she was sure he will snap her neck in the next second.

‘I remember this…’ Siebren then says with a hint of surprise, tilting his head a little bit and observing her as if she was some sort of complex equation ‘But now… it’s different. There is a note, a slightly different note in the background. If I wouldn’t know the melody by heart, i would miss it, I think. But I was here in this moment a thousand times with you already, so I know all the scenarios. And now, there is that small addition… Yes, your pulse, the way its throbbing in your head, and throbbing in my head… You say you are not afraid, but I have never felt you to be so terrified for your own well-being before. It is… excruciatingly wonderful.’ he says with great pleasure and bends down, kissing her gently on the lips.

Suddenly it’s as if she is ripped out of existence, floating in the middle of space. No sound, no air, no warmth, no energy to concoct a logical idea. Just. Him. 

The only strand to life, to sanity feels like where his atoms press against hers.

When he pulls back, she is unable to open her eyes. She feels dizzy, cold and numb.  
He lets out a sigh as if released from some grave worry and gently takes one of her still paralyzed hands.

‘Moira’ he starts, his voice like silk, and all the deep lines in his face seem to be easing out as he explains ‘I am here with you, but also I am at my experiment the moment it is failing. I am at the birth of the galaxy and at the moment where the very last photon dies out in the entire galaxy. I am limitless. But… when I kiss you, when I pleasure you in any number of universes, I feel… wholly united for a moment.’ What a strange confession, she thinks sluggishly. She blinks sense back into her eyes, her brain. It is hard, she notices, because it feels like she is being sucked into an event horizon, losing herself.

Dead.

Alive.

Both.

At. 

The.

Same.

Time.

Is this how He feels?

And then she sees her chance for a grand experiment.

‘Kiss me again’ her lips move with barely a sound, her eyes half closed, hazy and inviting. But Siebren hears it, and his features light up instantly.

‘This is new. What a delight!’ he purrs in a low voice, and gently reaches over her tiny waist with one bulky arm while hugging her back with the other, wholly encompassing her before bending his head down and kissing her again. This time she opens her mouth and kisses back, slowly at first, then more demanding. The force field binding her lets up a bit and she pushes her body against his.   
The sensation of floating in emptiness returns, but Moira does not fear it this time, and concentrates solely on Siebren. Her invisible bounds dissolve and she is free to hug his neck and pull him closer, ever so closer with one arm. She feels him melt away at her touch, her response. 

And then she rips out the cord powering his stabilizer with her other arm.

There is a sudden shock and pain in his eyes, she can see it up close. No, not physical pain, rather the pain of betrayal, maybe even a small teardrop. But she can’t observe better, because in the next moment she falls and hits the ground hard and Siebren’s unconscious body crashes down on her with full force.

***

She does the inventory:

One adjusted stabilizer, calibrated for a less lucid and focused Sigma.  
  
One invaluable secret report of his true abilities, stashed away for the future.  
  
A great deal of recent memory loss but also an increase in cooperation from the specimen, both welcome advancements.

A broken leg and a few broken ribs on her part, but who’s counting?

All in all, great success.

Yes, there are nights when she cannot sleep, and thrashes around with a tantalizing longing in her body that no amount of stimuli can quench.

But we must all make some sacrifices for science, she tells herself - over and over, and over again.


End file.
